We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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