He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize