i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
