just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I am spending my child support on dildos
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just had sex on a roof
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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