It's Friday. Sex?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
