I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
