dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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