I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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