you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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