just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
babies were throwing up all over the place
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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