I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
