ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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