glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
