Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
