so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
