were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
