something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Im part way to drunk.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You are a genius and a whore.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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