so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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