It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
