is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
