Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
