i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
