You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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