once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
