Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
