You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
