They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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