Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
God, you're like boner-b-gone
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
