Whoa Z and x make the same sound
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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