but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
