She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
