My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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