the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
