I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You can't motorboat a personality
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
