Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
