some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
