She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
