I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
