he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
