Pants 0. Shit 1.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
