At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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