The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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