my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
