hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
