He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
What drink are we having for lunch?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
