i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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