Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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