i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
if i died would you start the facebook group?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
