Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize