woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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