What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Randomize
