The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
