just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
