meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
