Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
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