i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
