whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
