i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
