I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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