windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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