If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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