a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
