i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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