I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
