I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
