I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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