Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
