Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
