You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Someone signed my nipple.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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