Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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