he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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