My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
