I wish I could teleport
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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