i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
