This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
