Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We named our party play list daddy issues
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
