i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
