Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
