I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Randomize
