I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
