plz talk dirty to me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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