i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
