I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
