I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
