this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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