Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
