im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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