ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
