just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
